


Secrets and Lies

by sb_essebi



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Character Study, First Kiss, M/M, Relationship Study, author doesn't see A Stitch in Time as canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26225797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sb_essebi/pseuds/sb_essebi
Summary: Ever since he was a child, Elim Garak had loved telling lies.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51
Collections: Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020





	Secrets and Lies

Ever since he was a child, Elim Garak had loved telling lies. By lying to people, you could get them to do things they never would have done otherwise. It was fun to see how far he could push, how outrageous a lie he could tell without getting caught. He enjoyed telling small half-lies, gaining people’s trust before he escalated it, see how long he could go without them getting suspicious. He liked telling big lies, ludicrous bold ones just to see if anyone would believe him if he told them with enough confidence. He enjoyed, he supposed, both the creative aspect of lying, the skill required to keep track of one’s statements, and the power lying awarded one with.

Everyone lied, he noticed, especially those who claimed they never did. Either out of necessity, convenience, or the same reasons Garak did. Not that he didn’t like his life to be convenient –in fact he preferred it to be very much so- or that it was never necessary for him to lie, but it was never the primary reason why he did it.

Enter one Doctor Julian Subatoi Bashir.

Initially, Garak had seen in the Doctor nothing more than an attractive neck and pretty shoulders, a deliciously Cardassian leanness to his body, and perhaps –sort of lazily, in the back of his mind- a way to acquire some Federation secrets that might be of use to him down the line. While it had been his ultimate goal to restore his name and return to Tain’s side, this was far from his focus at the time; he harboured no illusions that his goal would be simple or fast to achieve. But he _could_ have some fun in the meantime.

Bashir had seemed like a perfect target: young and inexperienced, excitable and easily gullible. And he had shown nothing but enthusiasm when Garak had overheard Dax explain to him the nature of Trills. It had seemed a sure thing that Garak would be able to entice him well enough before the stubborn young man would listen to anyone warning him that it was unwise to associate with the resident Cardassian.

Garak had not expected that Bashir would turn out to be so interesting.

Perhaps aided by the fact that he was completely clueless of Garak’s ulterior motives –or indeed that Garak’s invitation to his shop was anything more than just that- Bashir was completely absorbed in a fantasy of uncovering Garak’s alleged spy activity. It had been… intriguing. Initially, they had been such a puzzle to each other: Bashir did not lie. Not that Garak could see, at least. He never had an ulterior motive, never did anything he didn’t like and never put effort into that which he did not care about… and after discovering a few common interests, Bashir was determined to form a genuine friendship with Garak. With _Garak_ , of all people! Perhaps too stunned to turn him away, Garak had complied.

He had not expected to fall in love.

The idea of it was preposterous. It would never have occurred to him. It had been so far from his thoughts, in fact, that it caught him by such surprise it was already too late when he tried to shield himself from it. Julian Bashir never invested time, effort and sentiment in people he did not care for: and he invested a whole lot of all three in Garak. Garak had been so confused by it that he had been unable to figure out what it was and, by the time Julian found out about the implant and began aiding him with his recovery, Garak was already caught hook, line and sinker, and any thoughts of using Bashir were long gone.

As Garak later learned, Julian did not lie: he simply omitted. He was exceptionally good at keeping secrets, and on relying on his boyish charm and his truths to get him through any uncomfortable situation. Garak was not new to lies of omission, per se, but lies of all kinds had a limited lifespan, whereas simply not speaking of a fact made even one such as Garak unable to learn the truth. Discovering that Julian was capable of such masterful displays of subterfuge, though out of perceived necessity and lacking any capacity to find pleasure in his deceptions, made Garak, if possible, fall for the young doctor even more.

Over the years, Julian had hidden many things from Garak. His augmentations, the real extent of his abilities, intelligence and knowledge, the details of his childhood and family… to be honest, Garak had been a fool not to notice something was amiss sooner. A lovesick fool. A lovesick fool who held out hope, until the very end, that Julian Bashir had kept one more secret from him: the real nature of his feelings for Garak. In what would likely be their last meeting, seeing as Garak’s hopes on the matter turned out to indeed be foolish, Garak left the good Doctor with one last lie.

“I'm sure we'll see each other again.”

“I'd like to think so… but one can never say. We live in uncertain times.”

Garak had put all he had into that lie, because he had fully intended to disappear, return to Cardassia and throw himself into whatever work he could to help his people… and to forget Julian. Perhaps, hundreds of light years away, he had a chance to succeed.

It would turn out that one could never underestimate Julian Bashir enough.

* * *

It was almost six months after Garak’s return to Cardassia, the only place he had longed for for the better part of decade, and Garak was managing. He was. He had carved a place for himself in the newborn republican government, high up enough to be influential but to the side enough to remain invisible in the shadows. No matter his situation, Garak did not love the spotlight. And he was uniquely suited to a career of artificial, apparent mediocrity. Only, when one pursues such a career, one is assumed to have something else to look forward to in one’s life, at the end of the day. And the barely-rebuilt bombed out shell of Tain’s old home really was not it. Nor were the occasional chats with his colleagues, or the lunches with his aide. At the end of the day, all he had were the memories of what he’d left behind.

“Sir?” his aide called. “You have a visitor. He claims he can’t wait until tomorrow.”

It was late at night. Garak had been about to leave his improvised office in the equally improvised Civil Service building. He sighed.

“Surely it can?”

“He says it will only take a minute.”

“Alright. Let him in, then. You can go home for the night, my dear.”

The girl smiled.

“Thank you, sir. I’ve left the paperwork for the Federation aid in your bag so you can review it at home like you asked.”

“How kind of you,” he said somewhat apathetically. “Off you go now.”

“Goodnight, sir. I’ll let him in, then.”

Garak bowed his head in acknowledgement. “And to you.”

The visitor was wearing white robes -Vulcan manufacture, if Garak’s tailoring wasn’t already rusty- fitting for the heat. Brown-skinned, long-fingered hands lowered the hood.

“Hello, Garak.”

The shy but uncontainable smile was almost too much to bear. It took Garak’s breath away. He blinked incredulously.

“ _Julian_? What are you doing here?”

Julian stepped forward, eyes bright, and grabbed Garak’s shoulders, gently but firmly. Garak was gobsmacked. He didn’t know what to do, how to react.

“I’ve made a huge mistake letting you leave, Elim.” The use of his given name, almost untouched between them, made Garak shiver. “As soon as Cardassia accepted the Federation’s help, I made sure to be on the first ship.” He squeezed Garak’s shoulder ridges, making him gasp with a mix of pleasure and surprise. “I love you, Garak. I’ve been in love with you for ages, and I was too much of a coward to say anything. Please, tell me you feel the same and I haven’t just made the biggest fool of myself.”

There was genuine concern in Julian’s eyes. Ridiculous. What a ridiculous, wonderful idiot.

Garak couldn’t even reply. He just pressed his lips to Julian’s, as Humans did.

It was very strange. Julian’s lips were beautifully warm, but the feeling overall didn’t do much for Garak. Cardassians didn’t really have as many nerves there as Humans did. But Julian _groaned_ as if in great relief. One warm Human hand cupped Garak’s cheek and angled Garak’s head as he pleased before returning to his shoulders and kneading. Digging his fingernails in. Massaging. When had he learned that? Where? _From whom?_

Garak’s gasp of surprise was immediately exploited when Julian stuck his tongue in his mouth in what Garak was sure was a very skilful and very passionate kiss by Human standards. It was odd -terribly odd- and quite wet, but the heat was lovely and the insistence of Julian’s tongue conveyed his enthusiasm well enough to pass any interspecies barrier. And really, whatever Julian was doing with his hands on Garak’s ridges made everything else pretty much irrelevant, and Garak found himself embracing Julian tightly and kissing him back as eagerly as he could, as well as he could, until they had to part gasping for breath.

“What about your post on DS9?” Garak managed to say. “Your dreams of frontier medicine? What about Dax?”

“What’s more frontier than this? No offense,” he added sheepishly. “And Ezri and I were no good for each other. We lasted all of one month. I was in love with you, and I missed you like hell, and she’s far too old and smart to put up with that crap. She’s the one who helped me realize I had to come here, actually.”

“I’ll have to thank her somehow.”

“Getting me out of her hair is probably enough. According to her, my moping was unbearable.”

“I see.” He grabbed Julian’s shoulders firmly, possessively, thumbing his lovely, prominent collarbones in the absence of ridges. “I shall endeavour to keep your spirits up.”

Julian’s grin was wicked, and it would have incinerated a younger man.

“I think you’ll do splendidly.”

And he kissed Garak again.


End file.
